The Truth About A Long Engagement

I’ve been meaning to write this for awhile because people always asked me while I was engaged, “Do you like having a long engagement?”

The short answer is no, I didn’t like it and I don’t recommend it to anyone. We were engaged for almost two years (1 year and 10 months to be exact) and our wedding day felt like forever away.

We decided on a long engagement for many reasons but at the time, we didn’t realize just how long it would feel. We stand by that it was the right decision for us but that doesn’t mean it’s for everyone.

I break down the pros and cons below, but my overall feeling is: I loved being engaged and I loved the whole process of wedding planning, but it was challenging staying focused and not getting discouraged when time seemed to stand still…until two months before our wedding day anyways, and then BOOM! Time flew.

PROS

{ONE} Enjoy wedding planning without stress.

I didn’t relate to people who said wedding planning was stressful. Honestly, it was a lot of fun and easy to maintain. Maybe it’s because I’m Type A so organizing multiple projects and to-do lists gives me immense amounts of energy, but wedding planning was a really fun process.

{TWO} More time to research, save money, and prepare.

Having a long engagement means more time to research options, save money wherever possible, and prepare for different situations. I loved researching florists and looking for bridal gowns because I didn’t feel rushed to make decisions, and therefore compromise what I wanted. This was a big pro for a budget-friendly bride like myself!

{THREE} You can procrastinate and it’ll still all work out.

I know I just said I’m Type A, but there were times when I procrastinated. Thankfully, even though I procrastinated on a few tasks, it all worked out in the end. (Hallelujah.)

{FOUR} You can choose any date you want.

For “regular engagement time” brides, finding a wedding date can be tricky. You may settle on a date you didn’t want because of availability or budget. When you have a long engagement, however, the calendar is open! We chose the date we wanted without having to “fight” for it. If you’ve ever watched Bride Wars, you know what I mean.

CONS

{ONE} Literally everyone will get married before you. 

I’m going to be completely honestly with you. This is the biggest con in the entire list. I admit I had difficulty staying positive as people got engaged and married all before our wedding day. It was really easy to fall into the “Seriously!? Wait your turn” mindset. Reminding myself that every love story is different helped me keep it in perspective. At the end of the day, I would be married to my best friend and all the waiting would be totally worth it.

{TWO} You just want to get married already.

This is an obvious one, but as the months *slowly* passed by, the more we really wanted to be married. We were in the process of decorating and preparing our house, thinking about the holidays and beyond, and it made me so freaking excited to be married to Luke. It felt like time was standing still and the wedding was still so far away for our next chapter to begin.

{THREE} Things you like when you first get engaged won’t be in style or “on trend” by the time you get married.

From wedding colors to flowers to music, everything will change from the time you get engaged to the time you get married. Colors we loved at first were no longer what we preferred later so our theme changed drastically. Another aspect of this was the whole “people getting married before you” thing. One of the things I had to be okay with is that just because we got engaged first, didn’t mean we got first pick. For example, if someone got married first and chose the same song for their grand entrance that we were thinking of using, we were back to the drawing board for Plan B, C, D, E, or whatever it may be. (For the sake of argument, we could’ve used the same song and probably no one would’ve cared or noticed, but you get the point.)

{FOUR} Your guest list changes a billion times.

People you are friends with or work with at the time of your engagement will most likely change by the time you get married. Meaning, the guest list (which was already a very stressful part of wedding planning!) changes a lot.

Long engagements are not for everyone. Although it’s difficult to wait to marry your best friend, if it’s the right decision for you as a couple, then stick by it! I have one tip for long engagement brides: Be flexible.There are going to be times when you are frustrated or feel like time is standing still. Believe me, I get it! However, it will all work out and at the end of the day, you will get to marry your best friend and that’s all that really matters