How Quarantine's Going So Far

Let’s get down to it, shall we?

This is a very weird time and nothing is normal.

There is no “right” way to feel and no “right” way to approach a blank month ahead.

There’s no “right” way because we’re all experiencing this kind of thing for the first time together.

Yet, why do I feel like I’m doing it wrong?

Why do I feel like I should be exercising like a maniac to have the biggest “glow up” when this is over? Why do I feel like I should be learning tons of new recipes and living my best life by indulging in all these new hobbies?

Why do I feel like even in quarantine, even away from social situations and groups of people, I can’t escape the comparison game?

Before the social distancing/quarantine took place, I said to Luke, “I’m so excited because this means I can take a break from social media since no one is doing anything!” There wouldn’t be any FOMO or comparing of lives. Everyone would be inside, events canceled, and hunkered down trying to do our part to keep the world safe.

And yet, fast forward to this week, I’ve been battling with “not doing it good enough.”

You heard me right, and maybe, you feel this way too.

Originally, this blog post was going to be my new routine during quarantine and tips and tricks of how to make the best of it.

GUESS WHAT.

There IS no routine.

And THAT IS OKAY.

I do my best to stick to rules, to schedules, to plans.

I love my planner but frankly it’s starting to look like a football play book, so many X’s and arrows as things move and change and go away.

I try my best to balance some kind of hybrid of both worlds: pre-quarantine and during-quarantine. I try to wake up early and drink coffee and avoid my phone. I work from home so thankfully I have that to focus on for most of the day, but when it’s over, boom. Back to figuring out how to approach this new normal with grace, positivity, and of course, productivity.

To be fair, I’ve had my share of productive spurts. I learned how to make banana bread from scratch and we checked off a few house projects. It’s been good.

Yet, it doesn’t feel like enough. It doesn’t feel like I’m “doing” it right.

Own today! Make today yours! Focus on yourself and your hobbies! It’s a break from life! Now’s the time to do the things you have always wanted to do!

Is it though?

Is it the time?

Or is this time a pause from reality to really reflect and figure out how the heck to process an international pandemic, one day at a time.

I’m SO thankful to be SAFE at home. I am not STUCK at home. I am SAFE at home.

The blessings and the things to be grateful for are endless, do not get me wrong. I am truly thankful for the people who keep on keeping on. For the healthcare workers, the grocery store employees, the Amazon delivery guys.

I am not complaining.

But I am genuinely struggling with staying positive this week. I have ups and downs, but I am, at the end of the day, thankful for the things God has provided for us. I cannot stress that enough.

I’m just tired of the comparison game.

When social distancing/quarantine first began, I had the idea to tweet something every day that highlighted one thing that happened that day. It was sort of a last minute idea that I didn’t think would last. But to be honest, that little tweet a day has been one of the things helping me through this time.

It’s a constant in a world of confusion. It’s a way to intentionally search for the joy in a day when everyone is panicking and talking about the negatives.

It’s a way to force myself to look at my day and find something good in it to share with the world (or at least my followers haha).

Because really, not every day is a good day. But good things happen in every day.

And for that, I will choose to continue seeking the good in every day.

To ignore the thoughts that I’m not doing quarantine “right.”

To push through the moments that make me anxious.

To continuously find my hope and faith in Christ.

To live every day striving to find the joy.

Because really, that’s all I can do. To take each day as it comes, give up the worry I’m not doing it “right,” and rely on Jesus’ sovereignty in all the ups and downs.

“This is the day the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it.”